I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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