Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
