Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize