The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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