rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
