doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
