Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize