Kiss
Puke
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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