i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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