ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize