I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize