Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
