i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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