someone owes me an orgasm
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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