the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
