I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize