I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
