Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
