dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
