paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
