Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And then he peed in my hair
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