Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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