if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You dont lie about slip and slides
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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