if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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