my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
