Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
