Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
