Just cropdusted the office
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is wine microwaveable?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
