So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
