i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
