Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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