He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's always time for handjobs
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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