Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
