i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
