At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
