am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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