I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
