i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
