he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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