Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
