remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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