I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
