Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
