Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
