the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
