guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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