If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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