I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
