I heard we made out
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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