We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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