That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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