Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
