Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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