HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
