And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
