Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
