it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i believe in u and ur pee
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
