Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
