who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I intend to get homeless drunk
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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