he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
