that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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