tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What drink are we having for lunch?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
