Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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