I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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